By Heather Woods
As you wake up to celebrate on this special Mothers Day, it’s important to keep a few things in mind to really understand the importance of the day.
Mums naturally take on a huge role in the household, it’s just the way it happens. Not to discount everything partners do, by any means. If the partner was the primary carer the same thing would happen. And while we moan and groan about it sometimes – the washing, being a taxi service, financial controlling, trying to ‘work from home’, the epic tantrums – we have the household machine humming along nicely and we wouldn’t have it any other way. And we like our own way 😉
You deserve to be celebrated so enjoy some down time if you can and relish in your families. Sit back and enjoy the cuddles and kisses from slobbery drool-covered babies and dirty toddlers, take your anxious pre-schooler somewhere special and those moody teenagers who know better, maybe just leave them in bed and claim the battle early.
Remember though, that this day has been commercialised to the point of craziness, like every other ‘Day’ now hardcoded into our calendars. While it’s always nice to be spoilt in a materialistic way, it’s not really necessary.
So while you unwrap those presents, or wake up child-free in a fancy hotel, remember that being a mum is so much more than one day a year of presents and take a moment to appreciate all that you have. There are mums out there, doing it on their own or with very little support, who won’t be getting presents today. Their kids might be too young to realise or old enough to not really care. Or an ex-partner who just doesn’t get excited by organising stuff or understand the symbolism behind it all. They might not even be in the picture.
There are first time mums who desperately want to be with their new families but get bullied into prioritising their extended family or in-law gathering. I say fight for your family time. Your first Mothers Day is a special one and regardless of family tradition or expectations – you decide how you spend that time. Don’t feel judged for doing so.
There are many mums who have lost children. These mums are very much still mums and deserve the recognition. Talk about their kids with them and help them remember with a smile, instead of the tears (which they’ll no doubt need to release anyway). They will need your support today, more than ever.
There are ladies out there desperate to be mums, and for whatever reason it just hasn’t happened. They may suffer silently from recurrent miscarriages, they may have fertility struggles, they may not have a partner. Be sensitive to this fact and perhaps think about what you say, before shouting from the social media rooftops about how great and perfect your little family is.
Lastly, don’t get caught up just focusing on your own family. You have a mum. Your partner has a mum too. Just because they’re a bit older doesn’t mean they get any less appreciation or less of your time. They certainly shouldn’t be made to feel second best after all, they brought you into the world, and they never stop being mums and doing all that they do. All those lessons you’ve learned from them along the way is why you are the parent you are today.
So today, I say Happy Mother’s Day to my mum and my mother-in-law – thankyou for all you have done and still do for us. You know we appreciate it and are thankful to have you in our lives xx